rac-on-teur n.
July 20, 2007
“Why buy new, when slightly used will do?” –Dick Enrico
If we’ve met, you’ll surely recall that my physique is quite a marvel. Maintaining a body such as mine is a 24/7 endeavor, but here’s my regimen in a nutshell:
- Eat excessively, thanking God for the blessings of food and drink
- View a recent photograph of myself
- Repent of the sin of gluttony
- Begin an unsustainable workout program
Currently, I’m in phase 4.
In 1994, the year Wendy and I were married, I purchased a NordicTrack Walkfit 5000. The NordicTrack was a simple, non-motorized treadmill, but it allowed me to get a very thorough workout. In early 2007, the NordicTrack gave up the ghost. I figured it was time to go modern, so I cruised my local 2nd Wind store to look at motorized treadmills.
I purchased a PaceMaster Silver Select. Retail price: $1,899.
My slightly used model (it is VERY clean) cost me $899.
Crud! These things are fun!
The workout I get on my PaceMaster is not necessarily more vigorous than what I got from my Walkfit, but it’s a lot more interesting. With the Walkfit, I could sprint for as long as I liked, and then slow my pace naturally by moving my legs slower.
With the motorized PaceMaster, I set my running speed at 6.5 mph, and run with all the gusto of a man on a mission.
But here’s where it gets interesting.
When I’m winded, I must reach for the control panel with my shaking left hand, and try to hit the microscopic WALK button. Meanwhile, the motorized tread continues to move at 6.5 mph, and I am highly motivated to keep pace. The first button is pressed. Now, gasping and convulsing, I lift my spasmodic right hand, and mash it at the ENTER button, which I can no longer see due to the stinging sweat which fills my eyeballs. If I hit accurately, the treadmill will BEGIN to slow down. At this point, I really need to dig deep to keep it together: just—a—few—more—seconds—Kev—you’ll—make—it….
What a kick! Long live phase 4!
